Anyway the reason for this post is to let you all know that I have a new girlfriend who used to be my girlfriend a little over a year ago. She came over and we went mini golfing and to eat. I had a lot of fun and I was planning to ask her out again. Eventually when she was talking about leaving to go home soon I asked her. She took a long time in answering. Our original break up was traumatic and sudden for her. I was depressed and I thought that if I ended the relationship things would get better. Ever since I broke up with her I realized how awesome she was.
Anyway after I asked her she didn't answer immediately. Honestly, after I asked I was happy to have just gotten it off of my chest. I have (I guess it would be had now) a few other opportunities. Getting rid of that wondering feeling was a load off. We talked over her concerns, "How can I trust you won't do the same thing again?" and, "Will we be able to do it long distance?" I felt a little grimy trying to convince her, and I told her. As for the distance issue I told her it would be tough, living 90 minutes apart, but I know it's worth trying.
She seemed to be looking into the future, at the eventual break up (assuming we break up). Citing all different paths that our lives may take and how our relationship may not last.
It feels like I should have been discouraged by the indecision, but I wasn't and I think it's because I had options. Her saying no wouldn't have been the end of the world.
I think that's important, having options. Dating should be like managing a stock portfolio. It's way risky to be invested entirely in one stock. Smart individuals diversify. Multiple times my world fell apart because I've shunned all other women because of my interest in one, and when it didn't work out I was devastated.