I don't know what this blog will be about but I think that it is a nice transition from my hard journal I was keeping. Besides I can type faster than I can write. I've never read or looked a blog, so I'm not sure how they are supposed to be structured. Am I supposed to vary the font size and type at various points to make it aesthetically pleasing?
I guess that this is characteristic of me. I have a lot of questions and am unsure about most things. Needless to say I have confidence issues if I have trouble making even trivial assertions. I'm a smart guy, at least that is what people say, though they wouldn't point it out if I was stupid, so I'm unsure.
I envy people that are able to be decisive. People that can not no the truth but be sure about their beliefs have a quality that I envy. Even when I'm 99% about being right, I won't push my stance if someone disagrees. There are very rare instances where I do push my points, but most of the time I just give up.
Maybe I just don't care enough about anything to take any real stance. That's probably true. I don't trust my judgement to believe anything or have faith in anything or anyone. Recently I've had this internal mantra of, "I don't trust [person] anymore". I don't know why or when it started (it's relatively new), but I've noticed that I don't trust anyone.
That's misleading. I trust people, but I have no faith in them. I don't expect them to be there for me if I need them. This prevents me from getting really close to people. I've worked on this a lot this year, but still feel I have a far way to go.
I guess my big questions are:
What is the point of life?
What should I believe in?
How can I trust people?
What should I do with my life?
What is real and lasting?
There are a lot more and I should, can, and probably will write a lot on each of those questions.
Others' advice is welcomed.